Free thinking - a perspective

Whenever the question regarding the purpose of it all overwhelms me, whenever I feel that all is lost and old, whenever the world doesn't make any sense to me at all, whenever I feel like a living breathing zombie, I only do one thing. While driving on the motorway, I close my eyes for 5 seconds when going over 100 mph *. 5 seconds, no more, no less. That 200 yard ride in complete darkness is the equivalent of staring into the abyss.

This gives me a better grip on reality rather than thinking there are others more unfortunate than I am or comparing myself to other more unfortunate people. This is because only feeling the real thing gets me going. It doesn't help me to know people are starving somewhere and that my problems are nothing compared to theirs. It doesn't help me knowing that others succeeded or failed miserably. 

I need to experience myself things, build my own reality, never trying to achieve some other pre-packaged way of life. Of course, I listen to advice and try to learn from the others, but ultimately I want to be able to say: 'I built this, I worked my way up to here, this is me!'

* - do not, under any circumstances, try this on your local motorway. It may result in serious injuries or death.

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